Hi luv, could you do one with Liam Payne and I meeting in a store or something?
On Tuesday afternoon, you were in the frozen food aisle when you bumped into a cardboard cutout of Liam Payne. “Oh, I’m sorry,” you said, breathless at the sight of its lean figure and smooth skin. As you continue your shopping you can’t get him out of your mind. You see other people bump into him and he just smiles, unfazed. “He lives such an easy life,” you sigh. “No responsibilities.” You decide that you want to trade places with him. So you do.
On Tuesday afternoon, cardboard Liam Payne returns to your house with 3 bags of groceries. Your mother is skeptical of the cardboard cutout’s shopping abilities at first, but her doubts quickly subside when she sees the selection he picked out. “You even got my favorite brand of milk!” your mother says, carefully hugging the cardboard cutout to prevent it from tearing. “My daughter never gets my favorite brand of milk.”
At school, your chemistry teacher, Ms. Katsberg, had to get a new lab coat for Liam. Addison, your lab partner, demanded to speak to Ms. Katsberg in the hall.
“Ms. Katsberg, is that cardboard cutout of Liam Payne a new student?”
“Yes, Addison. It’s replacing your lab partner.”
“That’s totally unfair. How is it going to use the bunsen burner?” Addison asked. “Cardboard burns really easily. I’m going to have to do all the work.”
“I’ll wrap it in a protective sheet and give it goggles,” Ms. Katsberg replied. “Don’t worry, it’s not going to get good grades if it doesn’t do its share.”
“Fine,” Addison said.
The cardboard cutout of Liam Payne exceeded everyone’s expectations. Gifted in seemingly everything, it ended up with the highest unweighted gpa in the 9th grade. It took your spot on the soccer team and brought it to the regional championship, a feat the team could never pull off with you holding it back. It goes grocery shopping for your mother and sometimes sees you standing in the frozen food aisle, reminded of the day you traded places with it. It gives you a knowing smile. Nobody misses you at all.